Life Lessons from Navigating Fake Concern
Girl Bye. That’s the first thing I think when someone is trying to pretend to be “woo, woo” with me when they haven’t been “down before.”
Fake concern for my well being or my work always gives me pause because I know there is an ulterior motive. It’s usually to lull me into being vulnerable, disclosing something I wouldn’t otherwise share, and then using this information against me to damage my reputation.
If I sound paranoid maybe I am a little.
As a high-achieving, high-performing, and highly-capable Black woman, I gotta be thoughtful, strategic, and position myself well to advance and grow as a professional.
As a rule, I share very little of my personal life at work to keep fake concern at an arm's length. They can’t be concerned about what they don’t know. In general, I’m not a fan of “real “Gs move in silence” but in this case, be lasagna.
It’s this same way with my work. I keep it tight to the vest. I’m really intentional about sharing my work with people who need to know. Being strategic about timely and relevant updates are my JAM! and I teach my mentees the same!
If you think you’ve been a victim of fake concern, limit your engagement, put them on ice, and move to a need-to-know basis. Strategic communication is an essential skill for professional communication and nothing will teach you faster than someone wanting you to communicate when it doesn’t concern them.